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Sunday, September 07, 2014

‘Monotony may steer you to adultery’

BOOK REVIEW

M. Gautham Machaiah

Why do women in perfectly happy marriages cheat on their doting husbands? What drives them to adultery? This is the crux of Paulo Coelho’s latest offering ‘Adultery’, which concludes that what kills a relationship between two people is not merely the absence of love, but monotony and lack of adventure.
   
Coelho has handled this delicate subject beautifully, making the book hard to put down, though at times he deviates from the main frame of the story with unnecessary details, without which a lot of paper could have been saved.

Adultery’ is the story of Linda, a journalist in her thirties, whose husband is madly in love with her.  He is the owner of a large investment firm and is one of the 300 richest people in Switzerland. Linda has everything that life can offer, including two children who are the “reason for my living” and the best clothes that money can buy.

In Linda’s words, “I have married one, the only one who is absolutely perfect. He does not drink or go out at night, and he never spends a day along with friends. The family is his entire life.”

A fairy tale marriage one would say, but not Linda who sees strains in her ten-year-old wedding, where there are none.  She is a woman who is torn between the terror that everything might change and the equal terror that everything might carry on the same for the rest of her days.

As she battles loneliness and even early signs of depression, Linda realises the monotony of doing the same thing every day has taken the spice away from her life. Love alone is not enough to stop the magic disappear out of life.

That is when she comes in touch with her ex-boyfriend Jacob Koing who is now a promising politician. The first meeting ends in a sexual act, leading to a passionate extra-marital affair: “Incapable of solving my own problems, I created a situation where I had the ideal family and the perfect lover. I got adventure and joy.”

The author gives a graphic description of their sexual escapades, which strikes a jarring note among loyal readers who look towards Paulo Coelho for his incisive thinking and philosophy, rather than soft porn. Sidney Sheldon’s pen does not go well in Coelho’s hands.

Linda’s is not an isolated case, as all married people have a secret crush. “It is forbidden, and flirting with the forbidden is what makes life interesting. But very few people take it further; only one in seven. Only one in hundred is capable of getting confused enough to get carried away by fantasy. For most, it is nothing more than a fling, something you know from the beginning will not last long. A little thrill to make sex more erotic and hear ‘I love you’ shouted out at the moment or orgasm. Nothing more,” says the author.

Men and women have the same desire to cheat their partner; it just happens that women have more self control.

And if married people for whatever reason decide to look for another partner, this does not necessarily mean that the couple’s relationship is not doing well, nor is sex the primary motive. It has more to do with boredom, with a lack of passion for life, with a shortage of challenges. It is a combination of factors.  It is these factors that drove Linda to her ex-boyfriend Jacob who “gave me back some of my joy I had lost, keeping me from the pit of loneliness I had been drowning in up to my neck”.

The book serves as an eye-opener to both, husbands and wives who live under the delusion of a happy married life, while the monsters of monotony and boredom silently destroy the foundation, until one day the house crumbles.

As the author puts it, “What kills a relationship between two people is precisely the lack of challenge, the feeling that nothing is new anymore. The key is to continue to surprise each other...to learn to love better, because life is not a vacation, but a constant process of learning.”

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QUOTABLE QUOTES

We are the ones who create the messes in our heads, it does not come from outside. All you have to do is to ask the aid of your guardian spirit who enters your soul and helps tidy your house

One day, those who are blind begin to see. Those who are sad are comforted. Those who suffer are saved. The knight arrives to rescue us, and life is vindicated once again.

Everyone at some point has felt completely and utterly alone. But instead of looking for companionship, we isolate ourselves even more in order to lick our wounds in silence

Going after a dream has a price. It may mean abandoning our habits, it may make us go through hardships, or it may lead us to disappointments. But however costly it may be,it is never as high as the price paid by people who did not live. Because one day they will look back and hear their own heart say: ‘I wasted my life."

Let us make peace with our days. We cannot forget that life is on our side. It also wants to get better. Let us help it out

Men do everything to hide their weaknesses and any eighteen-year-old girl can manipulate them without much effort

I hiked with my dad as a teenager and I stopped every minute to take pictures until he fumed: “Do you think all this beauty and grandeur can fit in a little square of film? Record things in your heart. It’s more important than trying to show people what you are experiencing.”

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