A story of true love…

She said 'I Love You' to a German boy and took on the world to keep her promise

By M. Gautham Machaiah

There is a popular Kannada song which goes: “Preethi maadabaradu, maadidare jagake hedara baradhu.” Loosely translated, it means: "You should not fall in love, but if you do, you should not fear the world…" And that is what Banu, who belongs to a traditional Muslim family has proved.

I came across 27-year-old Banu and her 40-year-old German companion Sasha at Samvad, a public contact programme of Zee Kannada’s popular show, Baduku Jataka Bandi, held at Mysore.

Banu met Sasha, a western classical dance teacher over a year ago, and both soon fell in love. When Banu revealed the news to her parents, who live in the communally sensitive Tannery road in Bangalore, all hell broke loose.

“This relationship will never work,” they said pointing to the age difference and cultural diversity. Within days, they found a groom from within the community, confined her to the house, and tried every trick in the book to wean her away from her lover, but Banu stood her ground. “How can I be in love with one person and marry some one else?” was her firm stand.

Her parents coerced her, threatened her, emotionally blackmailed her, but Banu remained unmoved. Banu tried to reason with her parents, but when they refused to listen, she simply walked out of the house. “I, no doubt love my parents, but I have given my word to Sasha. If I did not have the guts to stand up against the world, then I should not have fallen in love in the first place. Going back on my words would amount to cheating him,” she says as a matter of fact.

Sasha is in India on a tourist visa. He does not have a secure job, he does not have a resident permit and there is every chance of being deported if he overstays. But Banu has not allowed these adversities to cow her down. Nothing is more important to her than living with the man to whom she has given her heart.

Banu’s travails did not end with walking out of the house. The couple is under constant threat from goons hired by Banu parents, but it is their undying love for each other that makes them look forward to another day.

However, Banu and Sasha are yet to be married due to various legal hurdles, which is why they were at Samvad with a plea: “We do not have anybody’s support. Please help us get married.”

It no doubt takes a lot of courage for a traditional Muslim girl from an orthodox family to walk up to the stage and make this request in the presence of hundreds of audience. But then, that is the power of true love.

Mysore Police Commissioner Sunil Aggarwal and Deputy Commissioner P. Manivannan, who were present at the Samvad, have now promised all help to the couple.

The story of Banu stands as an example to many for whom the word love has been reduced to a game of use and throw. Banu has proved that if you are really in love, no force on earth can separate you. Perhaps, had Euripides met Banu, he would never have said: “She is not a lover, who does not love forever.”

COMMENTS

A very nice piece...
-Vinita A. Shetty, Bangalore

A very touching story indeed.
May true love shine bright and create many happy families in this world.
-Deepti Ganapathy, Mysore

Nice story.
-Parisa Sharafeh, Sweden

Hope this story has a 'happily ever after...' ending.
-Mohena Singh Shourie, Bangalore

Do let us know what the climax is. It is indeed a touching story. Hope this story will have a happy ending .
-Ashwini, Bangalore

"There is no fear in love, but a perfect love casts out fear" as said in Bible. I wish elders could understand this and bless them.
-Divya

Love indeed! They will get married and live happily!
-Sargam Gupta, Mumbai

(This story was also posted on MSN. Some of the responses are reproduced below)

A good story on the occasion of the 100th International Women's day. As the Hindi saying goes: "Jab pyar kiya tho darna kya!" All women need to be challenging to make the world a heaven.
-P.V. Murty, Bhimavaram

Good story...Hope guys also take an example from this story and stand by their girl friends or wives...True love rarely exists today...
-Sambhavna, Mysore

We Indians have an orthodox mindset. We do not approve of inter-caste marriages. We have a conception that marriages are only possible in the same community and caste. Marriage is regarded as the most important social custom of society. Inter-caste marriage is mostly the phenomenon of the city culture. The rural parts of the country are still intact from this blessing (or curse).
A successful marriage is not dependent on factors such as same caste and religion but on happiness which is a very complex commodity. Once the goose-bumps of honeymoon are over, the couple has to face the SAMAJ, a very real thing which has a history and prejudices of thousands of years. Both the partners have to encounter the approvals and disapprovals of immediate in-laws and the immediate cluster of kith and kin. Acceptability is not easy to come. Time runs fast.
Once this phase is taken care off, the next one is Mohalla and Shahar. With the backing of over-flowing wallet you can surmount that hillock also. What happens when the kids are born? By that time the glamour and glitz and fascination of marriage is overtaken by bitterness of realities, not created intentionally, but as a fait accompli. Kids demand to know their identity. Old faiths of partners and contradictions raise their heads. The kids face a very provocative Samaj and sometimes begin to wonder about the folly of their parents.
All that happens in the name of ephemeral infatuation. We are not from outer space and we all are not blessed with material resources like some political, film and business icons to trample upon the values of our parents and Samaj. What happens when poverty crops up? Poverty is a strong mortar and breaks up every feeble bond and in the end both the partners cry over the spilt milk. I am sorry but it is the reality of our society.
-Naim Naqvi, Mumbai

I think it is foolish on the part of Banu to marry a guy without a job and visa.
- Gopal, Chennai

Success of love is not marriage. How they live after the marriage has to be considered as success. I do not think the marriage will work in this case due to cultural differences.
-Balaji, Coimbatore