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Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Mocking at elections, cyber style


M. Gautham Machaiah

With elections round the corner in Karnataka, netizens are flooded with e-mails which amply reflect the cynicism of the electorate.

One particularly interesting e-mail is an application form to be filled by those contesting elections. The origin of the mail is unknown, but it succeeds in aptly capturing the political scenario in the country.

Here is how the mail goes:

Application form to be filled for contesting Indian elections

1. Name of Candidate:

2. Present Address: (i) Name of jail (ii) Cell number (If not in jail, attach proof of residence)

3. Political party: (List ONLY last five parties in chronological order).

4. Sex: A:Male; B:Female

5. Nationality: A:Italian; B:Indian

6. Reasons for leaving last party (circle one or more) A: Defected; B: Expelled; C: Bought out; D:
None of the above; E: All of above.

7. Reasons for contesting elections (circle one or more) A: To make money; B: To escape court trial; C: To grossly misuse power; D: To serve the public; E: I have no clue. (If you choose `D' attach certificate of sanity from a recognised government psychiatrist).


8. How many years of public service experience do you possess? A: 1-2 years; B: 2-6 years; C: 6-15 years; D: 15 plus years.

9. Give details of any criminal cases pending against you (Use as many additional sheets as you want).

10. How many years have you spent in jail? (Do not confuse with question 8) A: 1-2 years; B: 2-6 years; C: 6-15 years; D: 15 plus years.11. Are you involved in any financial scams? A: Why not; B: Of course; C: Definitely; D: I deny it; E: See a foreign hand.

12. What is your annual corruption income? A: 100-500 crore; B: 500-1,000 crores; C: Overflow...(Convert all your $ earning from Hawala etc to rupees).

14. Do you have any developmental plans for the country in mind? A: No; B: No; C: No; D No.

15. Describe in space provided, your achievements: --------------- .

Thumb impression of the candidate.

(Picture sourced from: http://www.animationstand.com/gallery/rubberco/Jail.jpg)

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